My Family | Slow Death | Corporate Heat Lamp

Slow Death

Slow death. That’s the best way I can describe it. From the inside out you die a little each day. It’s a funky little virus. Actually, there’s nothing little about this bug. It slowly kills millions of people around the world every day. The funny thing is you can live with this virus for years, decades. It attacks your soul and it takes about 4 years to kill it. You don’t die in the physical sort of medical way. You just die in here. Passion, love, creativity, joy, compassion – you lose all that. The virus eats it and shits it out. The old corporate bug. Those of you who have it know what I’m talking about. You find yourself staring blankly at a computer screen hoping for an earthquake or a hurricane, something to break up the monotony, something to get you out of this life, if only for a few days. You start playing games with yourself. I’ll see if I can go five minutes without looking at my watch. I’ll see if I can squeeze out this fart without anyone hearing. I wonder if I could kill Jane in accounts receivable and get away with it. Some of us find creative ways to surf the internet without getting caught. Some of us even look at porn secretly hoping IT will find out and get you fired. I bet those little computer rats retire to their dungeons and look at the same deliciously filthy stuff.

Once the day ends, you probably go home and watch television, some sit-com or reality show. You order Chinese food, drink a couple of beers, watch your programs, crawl into bed and dream about kicking the shit out of your boss. Then you get up and do it all over again. What do we get in return? Financial security if you’re lucky. The irony is... you’re so miserable you end up taking that money and spending it on booze and weekend trips to Vegas.

This virus, it also attacks the brain. It attacks it with a vengeance. You develop your own sense of logic. You become an expert at rationalizing. You tell yourself it’s nice to have money to spend on yourself. You tell people you enjoy getting bombed every now and then and that your job gives you the financial liberty to do so. You thank your company. You count your blessings. You count your cash. You puke in the toilet and laugh about it with friends the next day. What a great system!